This Is My Plan B

My husband works in international development.  We used to live in West Africa in support of that career (you can read about that experience here on the blog).  Even though we have moved back to the US, he still travels frequently to Africa.  All those trips give us ample opportunity, for better or worse, to think about our former life.  As we chatted about it again this evening, I realized "Plan B" is actually an important part of life's journey and a very familiar topic to everyone, not just those struggling with illness.

First, let me tell you about my Plan A.  To be perfectly honest, I never had a well mapped out life plan.  I had some broad ideas though.  I wanted to find a soul mate.  Really.  I didn't want to marry just anyone.  I wanted to be deeply in love and have no reservations about complete commitment.  I wanted to have a few kids, preferably girls ('cause I could relate, no other reason).  I wanted to get a college degree, but I struggled with what exactly I was going to study.  I have A TON of interests.  From the time I was a teen, I've thought about pursuing things as unrelated as fashion merchandising to computer programming.  Marketing to genetics.  Logistics to literature.  (At one point my husband and I even considered a program for me through the global shipping giant, Maersk.  I think logistics is that interesting.)  And finally, I wanted to travel.  Everywhere.

I know, I know.  It's like the most vague "plan" ever.  It's like saying you want to make a salad and it requires some "botanical material" and some "liquid."  It mostly worked though.  After some trial and error, I did meet my soul mate and we did fall in love instantly and commit without any hesitation.  I didn't have a few kids.  I had only one and she arrived a bit ahead of the happily ever after marriage, but she was a she.  Just as I had wanted.  I'm still trying to finish that college degree (illness is no small player in the long process), but I have narrowed down the interest list considerably. 

So what about the travel?  At last count, I've been to 12 foreign countries.  I lived in three of those countries, once in a developed nation and twice in undeveloped nations.  I had the pleasure of visiting all but four of those foreign destinations, with my daughter in tow.  Here's the thing though, illness stopped me in my globe-trotting tracks.  I planned to live overseas for at least 6-10 years and then just keep hopping around after that point.  Illness even made some of my time aboard much more difficult than it would have otherwise been.  I used to chat with other women adjusting to new cultures, especially in the developing world and I would think to myself, "This is tough for everyone to make this leap, but I really seem to have some unusually bad days.  What is my issue?"  I didn't know it, but illness was the issue. 

I tried to hang on to Plan A.  Like really hang on.  It wasn't until my third medical evacuation that I decided I absolutely had to go back to the US and stay put long enough to recover.  I did not want to switch gears on that dream.  Sometimes I think now that I could just head back out there, but I know that I have a long way to go in my healing, before I can jump back into the stress of travel, cultural adjustment, and all that will come with navigating FOOD again.  The staying-put, low-key lifestyle is what my body needs right now.  Even so, sometimes when my husband leaves for a trip, it breaks both our hearts.         

My autoimmune struggle disrupted my plans for kids and my plans for completing a degree and, hardest of all for me to accept, my plans for travel.  Those disruptions could have totally derailed me.  After doing the normal work of processing those losses for myself, I focused on the portions of "Plan A" that I was able to achieve and then I got to work hammering out possible "Plan B's."      

Let me tell you about my Plan B.  In the style of Plan A, I like to keep things sorta' general.  I want to deepen my already awesome marriage to my best friend and soul mate.  (BTW, we have "in sickness and in health" nailed.)  I want to do the best possible job I can parenting my incredible one and only daughter.  I want to finish up that college degree somehow, someday, hopefully before my daughter finishes hers.  Yikes!  And finally, I want to take all the time I would have spent traveling and use it to learn everything I can about managing and healing autoimmunity through nutritional approaches and lifestyle changes and then I want to spread the word.  I tricked illness by making it my passion.

Getting sick was never part of my plan, but learning how to be versatile enough to roll with the punches was a happy unintended consequence.  Adapting my dreams to better match my realities . . . That is my Plan B.

Tell me readers, have there been portions of your Plan A's that you had to let go of or change?  What does your Plan B response look like?